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work as a healer, how do we manage
There is something common in the
human experience, a Divine spark within
our nature that calls for acknowledgement.
As healers and empaths, we easily absorb
other people’s energies as our own, see
ourselves in others, and them in us. As
Jung taught, “We meet ourselves time and
time again in a thousand disguises on the
path of life.”
I care deeply about the people I work
with. I also know that caring too much
has its drawbacks. Too much compassion
can make a person too comfortable. It is
also draining for me. I need to pull back
and encourage self empowerment without
any neediness. Empowerment comes when
we realise that we are the storytellers.
Some of my experiences delve into the
uncomfortable and often murky waters
of sexuality. The healer’s code means he
must respect the healing without crossing
boundaries or borders into sexuality.
How a person “does” their sexuality and
owns their sexuality is how they “do”
10 HOLISTIC HEALTH
e need to have a mature
sexuality as a society at
large. There is so much
confusion, judgment, abuse, indecency
and violence wrapped up in the sexual
realm, that we all need healing around
sex and sexuality.
As the wonderful Sufi poet Hafiz
wrote so poignantly,
“Every desire of your body is holy;
Every desire of your body is Holy.”
He didn’t mean we act on every
desire. Just that we accept all desires
including sexuality and begin to see them
through the prism of holiness.
Where do sexual boundaries occur
and exist in the healing process? If we
and the Healer’s Code
David G Arenson ND
highlights a central
issue for the holistic
industry – and society
in general – the need
for clear boundaries in
the healing process.
their life. The story they tell themselves
about sex is the same story they tell
about their lives. Sex is deeply personal,
as well as deeply symbolic and narrative.
It contains messages that go into the core
of our biological nature.
When you invite a person to be
vulnerable, often they open themselves
a sexual partner. Thus as a healer,
boundaries must always be clear, and one
must respect the healing process enough
to dignify it.
Of course we know in the therapeutic
process, it’s common for a person to “fall
in love” with their therapist. We call this
Following professional ethics is the
pillar of one’s work and one’s integrity.
Thus, when we come across desire and
enter into the depth of a person’s feelings,
it is important to manage such feelings in
a respectful way (not ignore them) where
wounds can be healed and looked at in a
new way. Traumas and emotional Sakhra
(sanskrit: conditioning of the mind
denoting cravings and addictions) are
all wrapped up in the unconscious mind
where love and sex are projected into the
realm of one’s emotional centre.
This dance of creativity is all
about needs and feelings of the person
undergoing the healing. I am human
too, yet my neutrality is an essential
component in exploring the often messy
and entangled fabric from which a
personality is birthed.
As long as I retain a professional
distance, these feelings can be worked
out in a compassionate way over time.
I never want to pretend I am not
human, that I don’t ever have my own
problems, my own challenges, my
own sexual desires. Yet if I am the
practitioner, I cannot indulge in my own
catharsis. The essential aspect is that I
don’t act out my feelings; that I act with
responsibility and self restraint.
Why do I share this?
Unfortunately, there are some men
who “prey” on women via offering
tantric or “sexual healing”. This taints
the sacred aspects of both sexuality and
of healing. It’s an abuse of power.
I cannot condone the crossing of
inappropriate boundaries. I think it’s
important to have this discussion.
We need to understand what we are
providing (particularly as men) and
respect the healing boundary.
Unfortunately, abuse of this type
‘As a healer, boundaries must
always be clear, and one must
respect the healing process
enough to dignify it.’
‘ The rationalisations that
attempt to justify inexcusable
behaviour also damage the
sanctity of healing.’
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