Home' Nova West : October 2010 Contents 17
It's wonderful, and steady, and calm, and
luminous and still I wonder if I can count
on my own judgement. I suspect the only
ones of my girlfriends I haven't surveyed
on the sly are either overseas or have
locked themselves away from me and my
Is he The One?
Is he The Right One?
I turned to my oracle decks, of which
I have a few. No concrete answers. One
day, at one of my favourite new age
bookstores, I was playing with the decks.
Possibly-the-right-one was standing by,
looking lost. I gave him a deck.
"Here, find yourself some answers."
We'd half joked many times that
before he proposed to me, he'd need a
signed note from his God. I gave him a
deck of Archangels and Saints, figuring
they'd be his cup of tea. Silently, he asked
if he should propose to me on the
anniversary of our first meeting. He got
the card of Commitment and Marriage.
Sure, he gets a specific answer and I'm
still diddling about with vagueness.
So, today as I write this, I find the
Belly Dance deck in the post and eagerly
ask my questions.
Daring Diva: the fearless self, pioneering
spirit, take a risk.
Just get in there, Helen, and stop
second guessing what might happen in 20
years. So, Possibly-the-right-one becomes
The Right One, and will be referred to
henceforth as TRO.
I have allowed TRO to sort out my
finances and take over care of me and my
family. Big double, triple gulp. Me, a kept
woman? Me, surrendering my freedom?
My hardwon independence?
TRO looks at me funny. What am I
surrendering? The scrabble for enough
rent money, worrying about not being
able to send my kids to university, no
health insurance, robbing Inanna to pay
Erishkigal, watching my writing wither
while I clean houses. Yeah, I must be
suffering greatly, surrendering all that.
Again with the cards. I want to
represent how I can see this "surrender".
Sisterhood: working together, camaraderie,
Oh right, yes, I keep forgetting we're a
team and I don't have to nobly do this
alone, forging on into the night with only
a crust of bread and one broken shoe.
Most importantly, I've had to trust
TRO with my kids. I've had to trust that
he can portray himself as a stepfather to
nearly-grown children, not as expecting
to be Dad. All has gone well. A few rocky
moments when they gave him the hairy
eyeball. TwentiesDaughter needed to see
physical proof of his hunter and gatherer
skills (they went shopping). TeenBoy had
to suss out his Nintendo skills, whether
or not they could have a good laugh
together, and if he had another anime ally
on his side (he does, and they both like
ghastly anime TV series where everyone
screams all the time, and they all have
impossible hair). Our crankiest cat is in
love with TRO. He's the only one allowed
to pat her all the way down her back and
tail, without ripping his arm off and hitting
him with the wet end.
Do I trust this situation?
Stillness: quiet strength.
TRO did indeed present himself quietly
and calmly and allowed the kids to come
to know him in their own time.
How do I feel about all this? It's a lot
of change very quickly for this little
Capricorn who likes quiet, stability and
stillness. After a good long cleansing cry,
there was a sense of relief, and sense of
coming home, of rightness.
Temple Dance: heaven on earth, serenity,
Yes. I could have asked any of my decks
and received a version of these answers,
for all oracle decks work with the energy
brought to the table at the time. Different
words, same meanings.
But somehow, it felt right to use these
ones at a time when I am retiring from
teaching belly dance and embracing
being a student again. Costumes for the
sake of play, not work. Workshops and
classes that truly interest me, instead of
attending things that I take back to my
students. I am trusting that this is the
right move for me. I am entering the
second half of my life and it's time to
transform myself. Two years from now,
I have no idea what will be listed on my
Desert Sword: decisions, mental strength,
Is it time for me to leave behind (maybe
temporarily, maybe forever) belly dance
teaching and tarot? It seems so. These
decisions have taken a lot of time, a lot
of strength to cut the ties. Now, I look
forward to what is next, both personally
Let's play: freedom, adventure, inner
Well, that sounds like fun, and excites
me. Bring it on.
Ed: Helen is no longer open to cash for
comment opportunities, and is looking
forward to re-establishing her integrity.
© NOVA OCTOBER 2010
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