Home' Nova West : December 2010 Contents © NOVA DECEMBER 2010 11
Relationships are always a matter of
juggling personal desire with compromise
and consideration -- never easy.
If either partner or both are carrying
emotional baggage, this is when it will
rear its ugly head. Strong couples will ride
out this period; weaker ones will simply
fold. It's a good test.
As time goes by
As relationships continue and possibly
grow into marriage and family, nothing is
more real than parenting, responsibilities,
jobs, finances, all kinds of pressures. If the
partners entering into this arrangement
fail to understand these obligations,
the future can hold nothing but dis-
appointment, disillusionment, bitterness
Romance has its place within the
reality of marriage, but it cannot be the
entire expectation. Each partner has the
responsibility for self examination and
self knowledge, so that the relationship
can be based on honesty, trust, true
communication, intimacy, respect and
When I speak of romance, I don't mean the
literal kind, involving candlelit dinners, sexy
night attire and slow dancing, although it
certainly can entail all of the above. Romance
is an attitude, a mood, a feeling. It's vital in
long term relationships to maintain a spirit
of freshness and enthusiasm. It is not about
idealistic ideas or having unreasonable
expectations, but rather knowing that
you deserve a relationship that's alive and
constantly evolving, not static and stale. It's
no use waiting for your partner to generate
energy. Be proactive in your own love life.
Here are some ways:
❤ spend quality time together
❤ use the art of surprise -- spring a small
gift or trick
❤ have dinner by candlelight for no special
❤ give each other massages or foot rubs
❤ bath or shower together
❤ touch a lot, caress and hug in and out
❤ be truly intimate, share, talk, be best
❤ do fun things together, be companions
with some interests in common
❤ hold hands, go for walks
❤ laugh a lot, be silly
❤ get over fights quickly
❤ make love, don't just have sex
Creating romance is as easy as
unleashing the imagination. With a positive
attitude and a willing spirit, even the
longest relationships can still be fresh and
new.So, why shouldn't romance be
favoured over reality when choosing a
mate and starting a deep and meaningful
relationship? What's the difference?
When we first meet someone and feel
attracted, the romantic approach is just
to go with our feelings and hope for the
best, spinning our thoughts into a fairy tale
that we truly believe will come true. The
less romantic way is to take a reality check
and see the person as they really are, not
as we wish they would be.
Romantic illusion is false and can only
lead to pain and disappointment. Reality
mixed in with true romance is a formula
for joyful permanence.
Charmaine is willing to answer your relationship questions
to appear in NOVA Magazine, both in print and online.
Email her at email@example.com
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