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These are the deep seated beliefs
garnered in childhood. We can gain them
in a number of ways -- what we hear, see,
receive, don't get, pick up from what is
implied. By the time we go to school, we
have literally thousands of beliefs tucked
away in our subconscious, and they range
from the basics of life like home, family,
love, marriage, work, money to minor
issues such as types of food.
Some therapists liken the storage of
these beliefs to carrying them around in
an invisible suitcase; I like to say we carry
them inside us as a series of images like
flash cards, which we use as terms of
reference on our journey through life.
If something occurs that doesn't match
the picture, it takes us out of our comfort
zone, and we either reject it at the start
or wreck it later.
To illustrate, here's an example in the
area of relationships -- let's say a girl grew
up in a family where she saw continual
fighting. Her belief about marriage will be
that it involves continual fighting. If she
meets a guy from a similar background
and they date, then marry, they will
probably have a long lasting marriage
full of -- continual fighting! On the other
hand, if she meets someone calm and
placid who doesn't want to argue and
fight, she might be attracted to him at
first and even love the peace, but, after a
while, it will cause an itch she just has to
scratch. She will gradually become so
uncomfortable within the relationship,
she will have to either leave or stay
and sabotage it by provoking what she
believes is inevitable -- fighting.
You see, it's a vicious circle, which can
only be broken by understanding how
core beliefs work and identifying one's
own. This is not simple, unfortunately.
By the very nature of core beliefs, they
are buried deep. They were learned
subconsciously so they have to be
released subconsciously. But there is
hope! Core beliefs can be unearthed by
looking at the physical reality of your
world -- what does it look like? Taking the
five key areas of life -- home, relationships,
money, health and work -- do you have
a home that is a comfortable haven? Are
your relationships positive and healthy?
Do you suffer from financial woes? Are
you in good health? Do you do work you
love? Usually, there will be one negative
area that stands out. Mine this as a rich
source of information about your belief
structure. For example, if you are always
ill, what is your belief about health? Did
you have a constantly sick parent? Did
you get sick as a child to get attention?
What negative ideas might you be holding
about health/illness? Trace it back and,
like an unbroken thread from the past, it
will lead you straight to the answer.
So, belief is the foundation of
everything we do. When our lives are
not working well, we need to look to the
cause from within ourselves.
continued page 17
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