Home' Nova National : July 2011 Contents 17
Then he asked me to go to Hawaii.
It took me about two seconds to say yes,
once he’d explained that I would be his
guest. Hell, yes. I could be a kept woman,
flown thousands of miles to keep a Geek
company. I’m not so self sacrificing and
noble that I’ll knock back a free trip, just
so I can keep my so-called reputation
intact. Not that it was anyway. Proudly
scandalous, that’s me.
Hawaii flowed into a trip to Peru,
flowed into him visiting me here, and
me visiting him there. Meanwhile, I
continued to hedge my bets with Nice
Man, and then, bewilderingly, added a
third bloke – Canada, Nebraska, Rhode
Island. We refer to this time as my
Experimental Period. There are other
names, but this is a polite magazine.
Two years, with to-ing and fro-ing, and
bizarre Facebook chats with Nebraska and
Rhode Island, while I talked to Canada on
2010, Samhain. I thought long and
hard and decided that by Midsummer
2010, either someone would have
stepped forward, or all three were getting
kicked to the curb. This lifestyle was for
the birds, even if it meant that no one
else ever came along, and I was destined
to be a mad old cat lady, a nun, or a hermit.
I had four cats, the first seemed likely. I
put the magic out there, that the right
man start his journey to me. I kept names
out of it, and strongly thought it would
be someone I had not met yet. Certainly,
the tarot cards said so, that He was
journeying, but not here yet.
Waiting, waiting – bored now.
I knew that Rhode Island was not in
the running. He was more in love with his
boyish lifestyle than anything else, with
possibly his own reflection second on the
list. Then Mr Nice Man Nebraska came to
stay and after a week, I felt a future was
impossible with someone who only lived
and thought in the now. Eckhart Tolle
be damned, I wanted someone I could
plan and dream with. We both cried a lot,
and Nebraska went home. We both cried
some more, and licked our wounds.
Then Canada came to visit. We talked,
joked, lay around reading books, and
suddenly we realised we liked this, we felt
comfy and okay. All my fears were laying
down like feathers, all his were floating
away on the wind. He brushed my hair
while we watched TV. I stuck my nose
into his back in bed. It all felt good and
He asked, having journeyed far
physically and emotionally to this point.
I said yes, having done some journeying
of my own.
Union does not happen overnight
and, while a wedding is nice, the marriage
is made up of grains of sand, tossed onto
the pile, or carefully placed, over time.
We’d been 33 months in the making,
and we caretake what we have every day.
He, because it’s all new and the first time
for him. Me, because I know all too well
what can go wrong.
We may have grown up through the
cracks in the concrete, like a dandelion,
but we’re flourishing. So mote it be.
This is a public saying to all our friends
that we want to stay together. We want
to share our lives. We mean to pledge
ourselves through times of broken stone
and seasons of rose and ripe plum;
we have found out, we know, we want to
“Why Marry At All?” Marge Piercy ●
© NOVA JULY 2011
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