Home' Nova National : NOVA March 2013 Contents novamagazine.com.au
© NOVA MArch 2013 11
‘In relationships, loss can come
in many forms but we shouldn’t
let that fact spoil the journey.’
‘When life seems at its hardest,
that’s when we have to look
for the unexpected gift.’
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died or left my life in other ways, notably my
two dogs and cat who passed on a few years
ago but who are never forgotten. Not having
had children, my animals are like my babies.
Am I too sentimental? Undoubtedly. Would I
like to care less about things? No.
Rod Mckeon wrote, “Now and then it’s
good to let a little pain come into your life; it
makes you know you’re alive.”
I usually feel the electric touch of life ’s
aliveness and that’s a lot pleasanter than grief
or sadness . But honouring one’s fe elings is part
of psychological he alth. I us ed to be a great
one for covering up my pain and coping and
smiling in the face of adversity. Not anymore.
Queen Elizabeth said, “Grief is the price
we pay for love.” But without taking the leap
into love, we a re only living a half-life. Sure
it’s safer to put up walls and keep potential
hurt out, but choosing to live fully means joy
and risk, wonder and fear. In relationships,
loss can come in many forms but we shouldn’t
let that fact spoil the journey.
“L ove is all you need,” sa id a great peace
lover. We certainly could have used John
Lennon’s voice in these current times. But we
can hold onto his message and try to live his
ideals in a far from ideal world. Laugh, dance,
sing silly songs, hug a lot, cry when you feel
like it, live every experienc e, even the not-so -
nice ones. We c an’t let life get the better of u s,
can we? We must always be clear who’s boss!
What we fear, we will always see. If you’re
constantly worried about money, you will
eventually have a financial crisis to deal with;
if you’re afraid of rejection and loneliness,
you’ l l experience relationship breakdown
and if you’re afraid of tangible things such
as a particular insect or object, you will see
nothing else. So, the important thing is to
conquer your fear before it cripples your life.
When a client says to me that they want to
overcome a certain issue or problem, I alway s
warn them that for a while, it will get worse as
their negative egos struggle to keep them in a
dark place. It’s a test of our resolve – will we cave
in or hold strong? If it’s the first, we’re simply
not ready so don’t lose heart and if it’s the l atter,
there will be re wards in the improvements in
life that will become cle ar. We human s tend to
learn our lessons via the mallet over the head
inste ad of gently and effortlessly.
I said to a client a few days ago about
a certain situation “It is as it is” and I
immediately thought to myself why am I so
wi se a s a counsellor/teacher and so imperfect
as a human being? I guess you know the
answer to that one. I used to believe I could be
perfect if I just worked hard enough but now I
embrace my imperfection, my hum anity.
I guess it all comes back to balance again.
There must be enough in life to make our
hearts lift and our spirits soar, whether it be a
hug from a friend, a beautiful piece of music ,
a puppy or a child’s playfulness, the sight of
the ocean, trees, flower s, a lover’s smile – a nd
so many more. Prosperit y comes in many
forms and sometimes it’s heavily disguised .
When life seems at its hardest, that’s when we
have to lo ok for the unexpected gift.
I guess it’s one of our lessons in life:
“Happiness is being dissolved into something
completely great .” T h at’s wh at I wish for each
one of you.
So, from one frail human being to another,
let us try to be kinder to ourselves and each
other and vow to be brave and enjoy 2013. •
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