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Why do we over work and overload our
schedule s? Is it habit, a mbition, nec es sity or
low self esteem? Probably all four.
Relationships are an integral part of
everyday life, whether we have a family or are
married and in order to operate healthily in
this realm, we need to constantly check our
ow n feelings, actions, motives and hang ups.
every one of us is surrounded by the
opportunities to lea rn every day. The key
lesson I’ve learned recently is that I need to
add a fourth point to my list of the things I
am forgetting to do when I feel ‘bad’. The
three origina l points are trusting, staying
positive and living in the present. The ne w
point is caring for myself, especially in
giving myself rest, treats and time. I have
done the first three but not this fourth one
in recent week s.
Learning is a lifetime’s oc cupation
and, yes, we repeat many lessons as we go
a long. But we must never get impatient or
critical of ourselves, just start again and use
the ne wfound knowledge to do b etter, feel
better, relate better, live happier.
Jim Rohn, the well known motivational
speaker and author, says these are the four
emotions which help us change :
1. disgu st – when we’ve had enough of a
2. desire for change
3. decision to act
4. resolve – promise yourself you’l l never
Let me leave you with another
wonderful quote: “One of the most
tragic things about human nature is
that all of us tend to put off living. We
are all dreaming of some magical rose
garden over the horizon instead of
enjoying the roses outside the window.”
- Dale Carnegie
‘We all stumble and fall but it’s
the accumulation of pressure
that is a sure warning sign.’
QI’ve rec ently had my heart
broken by my boyfriend who
is now my ex. It’s been really
think about him all the time. He won’t talk
to me and I’m trying my best to keep the
relationship going. He ne ver gave me a hint
about breaking up. A few weeks ago, he was
so in love with me and now, I’m nobody to
him. How did this happen ? How do I start
to move on and begin forgetting him.
I’ll start at the end and work back.
you will start to move on when
yOU decide to let go. even though
this guy took away your power of
c hoic e about the relationship, only you can
decide what you feel now. It’s obviou sly all
over so waste no more energy in holding on.
Let yourself grieve, cr y, heal – give it some
time and you WILL feel better.
As far as why, which is of course what we
always want to know after a break-up, I can
offer you two insights – either he was under
a romantic illusion about you and realised he
didn’t really love you or he did love you and
then got confused and/or afraid and pulled
away. This is more common that you might
realise. you didn’t say but were you with
your boyfriend about six months? This is a
crucial turning point in a relationship and
many don’t survive past this. Keep an eye on
my column in the next few weeks as I will be
talking more about the reasons for this.
For now, go easy on yourself and don’t
fall into the old trap of blame either of
yourself or him. He may well be as much a
victim of his feelings as you.
QI’m c onsidering divorc e. In
fact, I’m starting to think I
should never have ma rried.
My husband is an alcoholic
a lthough he doesn’t know it. When we
first met, he would drink almost daily and
become intoxic ated all the time. H is mother
bega n to dislike me because I would put
him out of the house when he was drunk.
He always promises to change and is an
extremely nice guy when sob er.
I’ve recently sta rted thinking about
divorc e and finding a better life for me
and the children. My husband hasn’t
Continued Page 22
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